2/19/08
sometimes less is more in dialogue, like now...
2/18/08
The Proclaimed Expert Of Everything weighs in
2/14/08
My girlfriend wants to sex me up but I still have my comic strip for Wassup! to do in addition to this page I finally finished.
2/12/08
In the Tim Burton Batman movie The Joker terrorizes Gotham by poisoning cosmetics the line went something like "One or two of these products on their own would be perfectly safe, but in the right combination could be deadly." So I don't know if ironic is the right word, but isn't it strange that the actor who plays The Joker died taking medication that "One or two of these products on their own would be perfectly safe, but in the right combination could be deadly." I know it would be better if I got the actual quote from the movie then the coroner but I am lazy.2/10/08
As cool as this page is it shouldn't have taken me all day to do.
2/8/08
I might have to go to political junkie rehab. Following the election is seriously keeping me from finishing anything, like the last page of chapter 4 for instance. or you can start chapter 4 and read all the way through.
2/4/08
Hillary Clinton often refers to the situation in Iraq as "George Bush's War". Which is true, but it was started by a different George Bush which is important to note because that means that 8 years of that war was continued under her husband's reign. During the '90s Bill Clinton enforced sanctions by targeting civilian water treatment plants. What was the point of this? Saddam didn't give a shit about his people, so political pressure is a weak excuse.
More importantly, I believe that the insurgency wouldn't be able to recruit as it does, if Bill Clinton's sanctions hadn't killed half a million Iraqi children. Am I wrong to believe that in addition to patriotism, some become insurgents to avenge dead children?
And finally, while it is true that American contracting companies should have been able to restore the water treatment centers, but no one has asked what number of these facilities were still down from the Clinton administration. I know I assumed to blame Bush. Because, if the current condition of the drinking water has anything to do with President Clinton; then Hillary Clinton should have to answer why our soldiers are coming back with intestinal parasites.
My name is Nicholas Ivan Ladendorf. I'm not a veteran or a foreign correspondent, so all my information is second hand. I'm not a Republican or a Democrat, so my questions come from my own outrage not party loyalty. If you think that I am on to something with this rant copy it and mail it(post it on myspace) to everyone you know immediately, and with any luck we'll get someone to think about this issue before voting today.
2/3/08
I'm assuming most of you missed it when a recording of me slamming Hillary Clinton was aired on NPR's World View, here's the link: I'm the guy that starts at 24 minutes and 21 seconds
2/2/08
This took way longer to do than I hoped but with everything changing so fast and my constant rewriting of Hillary's entry (I couldn't even fit in the part where I explain how Bill Clinton is responsible for our soldiers getting intestinal parasites in Iraq), but here it is THE TSUNAMI TUESDAY EDITION OF THE PRIMARY TRADING CARDS
1/31/08
The new Wassup!Local should be out shortly if not already out, so the MENTAL strip after this one should be in it.
1/29/08
Chapter 4 will be wrapping up soon, the only problem is that chapter 6 is the one I am psyched to write. It has a lot of backsto- you know what never mind just check out the newest page of chapter 4
1/28/08
Look I'm rendering stuff again! Also I went back and fixed some stuff.
1/22/08
Anytime one can effectively use the term "manwhore", do it.
1/21/08
Some reporter on NPR said that internationally today has been refered to as "Black Monday". Which is not only funny because of the whole MLK thing but also, because the perfect solution for stimulating the economy is implied in the name.
1/20/08
hopefully this won't be the only page of MENTAL posted today.
1/13/08
I don't know when I'll be caught up but it will be by the end of the month, but I am making progress.
1/6/08
If you missed my performance at Reading Under The Influence you can check out the story I read(minus my sexy voice).
Thursday's MENTAL is finally done.
1/1/08
The only non-froven items in my apartment are little snacks originally intended for the six or so guest that never did turn up. 2008 has come in with nibbles not chomps. Oh it's Tuesday so I've updated MENTAL
12/27/07
my network card went out so for the past week I've been going through a lot of bullshit to post... that and I've apparently made the decision that if I can't stream off of the internet then I can't draw at my drafting table. When did I become such a creature of habit?
12/25/07
12/23/07
This might be serious. I actually blew off updating MENTAL to spend time with my girlfriend before she goes away for the holidays (plus two weeks). Well here it is. There will be another update either tonight or tomorrow of something not MENTAL (hold me to it).
12/19/07
Chapter 4 marks the beginning of the second act. I don't know why you needed to know that but there you go...
(2.25 hours passed) 12/16/07
Chapter four is here, rehash pages are a thing of the past.
12/11/07
MENTAL vs. The Metro Cowboy
12/9/07
This is me musing on popularizing enviromentalism...
12/7/07
I am so bad at leaving messages on a machine. Today my message to the Iran/NIE response line was played on NPR Chicago's Worldview. I come in about 5:10.
12/6/07
Last page of Chapter 3
12/4/07
My old Rapidograph Koh-I-Noor pen I use for MENTAL has been a real pain in the ass lately. And I don't need my tools to give me excuses to procrastinate, so I went out and bought some Microns. So next week when pages from chapter four are up, see if you can tell the difference. Until then this is the second to last rehash.
12/2/07
Some how this month I never updated the MENTAL strip. So here it is...
12/1/07
Some couples have a list of celebrities that they exchange, where sleeping
with the people on said list, would not be considered cheating. My girlfriend
is not down for this despite her obvious infatuations with Alton Brown and
Christian Bale. There isn't even an exception for if it would advance my career.
So if you see your name on this list, don't get your hopes up.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
* Mystery Co-host of "Fresh Gear": My googling would have me believe
I have gone mad but I swear there was a hottie with nerd glasses that used
to co-host Fresh Gear on the now defunct Tech TV. She's not really a celebrity
so it would just be cheating.
*Elisa Jimenez: She didn't make the list for two reasons. I don't quite have a crush on her yet, but feelings seem to be growing. And I don't consider someone a celebrity just because they get on a reality show. But this one definitely has potential. She is adorable as hell. She's talented and original. She does yoga (which makes her body pretty nice). and she has the kinda quirkiness that I find irresistible.
*Rose (guitarist from Dot Dot Dot): When the chick band Cat Fight formed and everyone was drooling over the lead singer Julie, I was like "I'm partial to Rose". Ever since I have been dubbed a Rose groupie, to which my answer is "Fuck you Rose is hot". But she doesn't make the list because, she hasn't proven herself dorky enough to me. Yes that is a criteria.
* Hayden Panettiere: Not my type at all, but her conservation activities have gotten my attention. I know you'd think the fact that she's in "Heroes" would be enough...
*Tina Majorino: I started to get a thing for her when she played Mac on "Veronica Mars" but then the show got canceled. She kinda has that Thora Birch thing going, but Thora isn't on the list either...
THE LIST (In no particular order)
5 . Brittney Murphey: Normally I am not into skinny blonde bitches, but Brittney
Murphy has that extra something that does it something. That extra something
is the fact that she played a nympho heroin addict named Rhonda in "Freeway",
which had the catch line "Do you like tar?" and I had a thing for
her when she was in "Clueless".
4. Joan Cusack: Yes she is goony looking, but when I was about thirteen she
played an older woman who seduces a teenager in "Good Men Don't Leave".
That movie may have started my masturbation career. Also someone pointed out
that she looked really hot in "Addams Family"...
3. Yeardley Smith: She is most famous for being the voice of Lisa on "The
Simpsons" but she used to be in a little show called Herman's Head",
where there was an episode where Herman had to be convinced to take her virginity.
My twelve year old penis was convinced before Herman.
2. Sarah Vowel: Most well known for being the voice of Violet on "The
Incredibles" and her work on This American Live, you don't get much nerdier
than this history buff. I first saw her on the Daily Show promoting one of
her books and was instantly in lust.
1. Condoleezza Rice: Though I hate her, I am not terribly ashamed to admit
that I'd hit it. Done gagging yet? What can I say when you have a powerful
woman with a decent body, speaks six languages, and plays piano- that's sexy.
Contributing factors are also include her willingness to wear vinyl, her gap,
and her shakey voice. I find these traits endearing since they are things
you wouldn't expect from someone in her position.
11/29/07
Last night in the republican debate Duncan Hunter said the reason why soldiers can not be openly gay is because it would ruin the cohesion of units since most people who enlist are conservative christians who think being gay is wrong. So appearantly intolerence is a good reason to oppress a group of people. I thought it might have had something to do with showers, but no it's intolerence. Look the reason don't ask don't tell is bad policy is because I believe that when our soldiers come home their loved ones should beable to run up to them as soon as they come off that ship and show them how much they were missed without worrying about their career.
The group Cohesion arguement is total bullshit as any soldier from Viet Nam would tell you even back when everybody was racist "there's no such thing as a nigger in a foxhole." When you are at war, who ever you have watching your back is your best friend.
Ps. Someone please bitchslap Duncan Hunter the next time he list his son's and father's service in the Marines as credentials. It seems in this case heroism skipped a generation Duncan, everyone else can see it why can't you?
Today's MENTAL is somewhat less serious.
11/28/07
Dear Joe,
I often watch Morning Joe before going to work, because it is the least like
The View of any cable news shows, but this morning I had to shut it off way
before leaving. It is entirely the fault of Courtney Hazel. The very fact
that she was covering Steven King's obviously sarcastic remarks on waterboarding
Jenna Bush and that Britney or Lindsay should be the person of the year; proves
his point that to the media celebrity is more important than journalism.
As someone who ingest news about ten hours a day, it seems, Steven King's
opinon on waterboarding has gotten more air time than fact that this is the
first time in American history when waterboarding isn't illegal ( though before
it was called "the water cure").
Steven King may be some "strange man that lives in a cabin in Maine",
but I think it is more out there that more people aren't bitter at the state
of the media.
Nicholas Ivan Ladendorf
11/27/07
I hate it when I don't remember what I was going to rant about. I know that I have come to the conclusion that the reason so many kids get molested by teachers is because school does such a good job teaching kids to dutifully follow instruction (instead of using their minds which would include questioning authority), or it might have been another rant about Oprah... probably not the latter since she is helping undermine the certainty of another Clinton White House... Oh well read MENTAL
11/26/07
The vice president's doctors have announced that DICK has an irregular heart beat despite having a defibrillator. What they didn't mention was that this was discovered while he was on a polygraph.
11/25/07
The way I work is weird. I will stare at a page knowing what has to be drawn, how to draw it, and it just won't happpen. I'll have the software and even have reference pictures, but I can't. Then all of the sudden I get a wild hair up my ass and it's done. While it's true that this is procrastination, but it seems like the the longer I mull it over the faster it is to actually do it. Which could easily become an excuse to mull longer, and as we all know procrastination is so much more seductive when we have an excuse...espeacially when no one is paying you to do it.
Did you need to know all that to enjoy the now completed Ultimate Spider-Man samples? No, but I'd like to think some of you enjoy the commentary track...
11/ 22/07
Two Thanksgiving meals and I am alright...the girlfriend didn't come out so lucky. If you are too full to move here's some MENTAL
11/20/07
MENTAL continues...
11/19/07
I always feel incredibly guilty when I take a sick day. No, I'm not faking
it, but it does feel like it. See I can never tell if I am sick enough to
take off or not. I can not gauge that. Today is especially bad because the
calluses on my feet have split making walking painful. Which as I sit here
I think "It's not that bad" but when I get up I'll know differently.
The worst thing is that it is both feet. One split at the ball and the other
at the heel, so I can't tough through it as easily as I normally do.
Shit just realized. two day work week now! More time to work on things like this revised menu for MENTAL
11/18/07
The weirdest thing about living with my girlfriend is getting used to the idea that I draw here now. That and spending time putting that clear plastic over the windows to keep it from getting too cold in here. Anyway, between domestic duties and playing Knights of The Old Republic, I didn't quite finish the last page of Spider-man so here's another rehash instead
11/15/07
I've been giving Oprah kind of a pass on her recent sex scandal at her school for girls. This is the same school that her friend was visiting when she asked Oprah if she felt guilty for being rich when she sees that kind of poverty. This whole thing must be horrible for Oprah. But this whole situation with the headmistress molesting the kids that the school was supposed to protect is the perfect illustration of my problem with Oprah. She thinks she can just throw money at things to make them go away. You can't fix things and feed into the consumer society. It can't be done because horrible things continue in the world because of the complacency that comes with our comfort. I don't have a problem with comfort but we shouldn't fool ourselves into ignoring at the cost it place on others. Okay serman over. Read MENTAL
11/14/07
I always check to see what word combinations people are googling when they come to my site (I have coding in there to do that) My favorite so far is "Panda skills/abilities". I'm 5 of 273.
11/13/07
Is it possible that Kanye's ma was struck down by god for trying to have her breast reduced? Perhaps she died because god loves big cans, and a reduction is equiviallent to rejecting god's love. Don't get mad I don't believe in god or Kanye...
11/11/07
My art teacher in high school had this assignment where we had to write a quote in illuminated manuscript (or whatever he called the fancy lettering) the students who didn't come in with a quote (i don't remember mine for some reason) had to write "procrastination promotes poor performance". I'll let you be the judge. This comic was something I never posted because it wasn't done but because I was playing video games this weekend, I decided to try to make it work.
11/10/07
This little kid was going down the stairs from the train really slow. His
mother finally had to pick him up and carry him down. And then he ran away
from her and held on to the vending machine to keep them from going where
ever they were headed. As I passed the mother I said "You should put
him on a choke chain" to which she replied "Oh god!"
Once I realized that I had offended her I immediately appolo- laughed my ass
off to her face. Her reaction made the joke ten times better than it was.
11/8/07
I don't have anything clever to say. Just read the fucking comic.
11/4/07
Not settled enough to do much more than post more rehash pages, so here you go. It may seem like a cop out to post rehash pages, and it is, but that just brings me one step closer to running out which means posting never seen before pages.
11/3/07
Okay, caught up with MENTAL pages, now I have to figure out what to post tomorrow.
11/2/07
I have all my shit out of the old place and into the new place. Now I am working on setting up in the new place and passing the old place on to someone perhaps wiser than me. I haven't done any drawing this week, but I am way a head on MENTAL so here it is.
10/28/07
Packing up my earthly belongings, so I am putting up the new MENTAL strip a week or so early.
10/26/07
Bush has been flying over the wildfires in San Diego, undoubtedly so he can
assess where he can implement his brush clearing skills, and also where to
have the post fire victory banner so it is subliminally in the background
during the press conference.
So it is weird with this thing clearly in hand that FEMA had a fake press
conference, using it's own employees to field questions.
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The main U.S. disaster-response agency apologized on Friday for having its employees pose as reporters in a news briefing on California's wildfires that no journalists attended.
search: fake fema news conference
10/25/07
Just got back from office party. ezhausted. But still posting MENTAL reshash...
10/23/07
Still moving. Anyone looking for a cheap sudio ($495 including utilities)? Lots of closet space. Maybe? Okay here's the new MENTAL rehash page.
10/22/07
For those of you wanting to know how my aunt's band did on The Next Great American Band, here you go
10/21/07
I'm moving in with my lady, because her roommate had to suddenly move out and it would be much easier to move me in with here than moving her out of her place. See she has a bed and shelves and stuff. I have a bench. that's it furniture-wise. I'm telling you this because I am making this a full week of re-hash pages on MENTAL. though to get the full affect you should start with tuesday's camic.
10/20/07
Dear Amy and Juan,
I just watched an a half our segment where an excerpt of a film where Jack
Shaheen says "All aspects of our culture project the Arab as villain."
and he goes on to use Alladin as an example. This is another example of you
doing a disservice to your guest, audience, and your cause. By not challenging
the statements of guest you allow them to become needlessly intellectually
dishonest, which is fine to preaching to the choir, but a larger audience
will proclaim it all bullshit because of a 5% lie.
Saying that Arabs are stereotyped is not the same as saying they are all shown
as villians. it is interesting to ask how these images affect people, but
it must be done with the understanding that it is the nature of story telling
to stereotype, or as writers call it Archetype. And over emphasizing something
that does need attention is why there is a political correctness backlash.
You know what I have to say to your guest "Write a book about how hollywood
depects white guys all as uptight upperclass nerds who can't dance!"
So yeah Alladin is full of stereotypes/archetypes. But to bring up Alladin
and in the same breath say that all Arabs are villians... What about Alladin?
What about Jasmine an independant headstrong arab woman? Want some more what
about the title character Kumar? Maybe Sallah in Indiana Jones?
Oh you should add Michael Moore to your list of negative directors, because
in his movie Fahrenheit 9/11 he said that Saudi's own 6% of our economy which
is really similar to what the guy said in Network that your guest depicted
as racist.
Look, when something is based on something kinda true and incorporated into
a movie, that isn't stereotyping, that is drawing from life. It's part of
the creative process. So when I want to write a shitty action movie, and I
see a video on youtube of Arab kids carrying Ak-47s, I will put a scene in
there with a kid shooting a gun. And I will be too busy thinking about how
fucked up it is to think about how it depicts arab children as a whole.
Reading this you may have come to the conclusion that I am some conservative
nut. If that's the case, guess what you just did? When Amy speaks in Chicago
it is arranged by people I hang out with (or at least Mitchell Szczepanczyk).
You know how I met them/him? running an independent progressive paper. Here's
my point. No matter what your personal feelings are, try to look at it objectively.
Ask yourself and actually think about how people you disagree with my justify
themselves. Because when you don't the people who don't already agree with
you, dismiss you. All your reporting on the war doesn't mean anything if the
people who are still in denial can find any hole in your objectivity. This
goes double when you talk to Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson.
Nicholas Ivan Ladendorf
www.nilgravity.com
PS Three days of coverage on the death of James Brown when you can't even cover the self-immolation of Malachi Ritscher? C'mon...
10/19/07
My Aunt Lisa will be performing with her band Dot Dot Dot at 7PM (check listings)
on the Fox show The Next Great American Band and I don't have a TV. So do
me a favor and watch it for me and let me know how it was.
Leave out any parts about masturbating to the bass player. Not only could
I do without hearing it but you'll spare me telling her about it.
10/18/07
I've been at lectures by Scott McCloud and Art Spiegelman so, I don't remember where I was going with that. Here just read the new MENTAL.
10/16/07
Here's a little secret about MENTAL, diagonal panels are flash backs, like this one.
10/15/07
If you have a Digg account, please digg my primary trading cards
10/14/07
I'm in between projects so I put some time aside to complete another page of my Ultimate Spider-Man samples
10/13/07
I just read Goodbye Chunky Rice and noticed the author is only four years older than me. This is a sign of getting old. It's now been ten years since I expected to succeed, and though that goal may not have been realistic- every year makes me feel more betrayed. Betrayed by my own shortcomings. What's worse is that my guilt is becoming less effective of a motivator. I'm used to feeling guilty for being behind and I've come to accept that my goals are unrealistic. When it used to push me to prove myself wrong.
I'm going back to covering my eyes with my palms while repeating "failure" again....
10/12/07
What the fuck is going on? First the whole Jena 6 thing. Now a bunch of white
guards were acquitted of manslaughter after beating a black 14 y/o while he
was dying of sickle cell anemia. Now this wasn't in juvie this was at one
of those boot camps that the daytime talk shows are always sending kids to
(anyone know if Dr. Phil ever did this), and the kid wasn't escaping he just
collapsed and couldn't run laps. The judge acquitted them because they had
no way of knowing the kid (who was troubled) wasn't faking being sick. What
bullshit! Six guards beat down a kid who wasn't feeling well (at least ill
enough to not just run the laps) and don't get charged with assault of a minor?!
And it wasn't just that they roughed him up THEY COVERED HIS FUCKING MOUTH
AND MADE HIM BREATH IN AMMONIA!!!
Apparently these boot camps are not regulated and have had no proven success.
Most if not all have no training in anything related to teen counciling. Why
does it always take a death for people to realize it's fucked up.
It's so fucked up I can't even think about it
10/11/07
When are the jokes about Rudy Guiliani about the way he talks, going to surface? I am sick of hearing about his "Idears on Lar enforcement". He's a lawyer who can't pronounce "Law". Until then even more chapter two.
10/10/07
Steven Colbert gave an interview out of character on Fresh Air yesterday. I don't really have any comments about it, but thought I should pass it along
10/9/07
More of Chapter two
10/8/07
MENTAL has a new directory, which in it's self is a new comic
nilgravity.com/mental
10/7/07
Last month's MENTAL comic strip (which is new to you unless you read Wassup! Local)was a bit of an inside joke. To get it you should read Paradigm Shift.
10/6/07
Bush says the interrogations techniques don't count as torture. lets forget
that interrogate almost looks as if terror is right in the word. But how about
I do these techniques to Bush and we'll see if they are torture. A leader
should never ask another to do something he is not himself willing to do.
So lets see if what I can get Bush to say under extreme duress
Now look I am not threatening Bush. I am asking that he steps forward and
volunteers to test these techniques. Come on I am asking he makes a tenth
of the sacrifice he ask our soldiers to do.
10/5/07
A supposedly independent party was thrown to raise money for Rudy Guiliani.
Guess how much it cost to get in? I'll give you a hint it was less than $10.
If you guessed $9.11 you are probably saying to yourself "what an asshole!"
Senator Dodd publicly criticized Rudy for accepting the money, which did nothing
to stop them from spending it.
I fucking hate how Guiliani came out of 9/11 smelling like a rose despite
all his fuck ups leading to it, which severely hurt the cities response and
caused the death of several firemen. On top of that he had protesting firemen
arrested days after the attack because they were making a big deal of him
dumping their fallen brothers in a landfill. If Guiliani wanted to do the
right thing with this money he would donate it to the rescue workers that
didn't get their medical care covered. But he's too much of an asshole.
10/4/07
Some college in Illinois accidently created bisexual fruitflies. They use fruitflies for a lot of genetic research because you can have a new generation every few weeks. Oh you wanted a link to an article about this interesting trivia? But if I did that you wouldn't bother reading the new MENTAL page
10/3/07
For all you people who want a woman president. For fucks sake don't vote for Hillary. If you want a woman president so bad we should impeach bush and cheney so Nancy Pelosi can be president for a couple of months. I rather that spineless bitch than whatever hillary is. With her fake ass, defensive laugh laugh.
10/2/07
Found a broken link on MENTAL, it's fixed so now you should be able to read it from the beginning with no problems. Also we are on to CHAPTER 2
10/1/07
Good News, evangelicals are saying they rather start a third party than vote
for Rudy if he wins the primaries.
Indifferent News is that Blackwater has admitted that they had to fire over
a hundred of their mercenaries for misconduct (that's almost 10%) including
violating their rules of engagement (only shoot when shot at). This is indifferent
news because Blackwater is famous for moving people to other countries instead
of firing them, which is what I think is what really happened to these guys.
This will be a good news story if the democrats bust them on this (not holding
my breath here)
Bad News, we still have a lot of progress to make racially in this country.
My friend Navin has surrendered to have himself put in the concentration camp
for people from india, where he will no doubt be forced into humiliating stress
positions like saying "Thank you for calling Dell, How may I direct your
call?"
9/30/07
Damn it everytime a Republican drops out there is another one to replace him. Alan Keyes is officially in the race...Ron Paul may be happy whenever a pro-war candidate wants to help him by taking votes away from his opponites but it means that I had to make another trading card
9/28/07
"You can have a president who opposed the war, opposed the Patriot Act
and supports single-payer health care, Or you can have a president who's tall."
-Dennis Kucinich 9-26-07
Co-worker: Man, Kucinich is so quick and on the game. He could become a real bastard. I'm not saying he's going to, I'm saying he could pull it off if he wanted to.
Me: No I get it your saying that he isn't a good guy because he couldn't be a crook- Like an ugly girl that brags that she isn't a whore.
Co-worker: That's one way of putting it.
9/27/07
I did the math and if I want the MENTAL graphic novel to be done by the next Wizardworld Chicago, then I have to draw 3 pages a week. That's going to be tough with all my extraciricular activities... So on that note another rehash page...
9/26/07
Robert Gates is asking for more money for Iraq. $1.2 billionmore than the spending supplimental passed four months ago. Why do I have the feeling the democrats aren't going to tell him if he wants it he should try to recover it from the $9 billion missing in Iraq? I know the answer. They're cowards. But I am repeating myself
9/25/07
I wanted to clear up something about my theory that women that actually identify with men wouldn't get a sex change. I hold this opinion only as long the technology only permits a vag to be converted into a very small penis. I don't think men are less image obsessed than women, I just know that men only obsess about one part of their self image. So until giant prostetic penis' can be made, men will continue modifying their self by substituting with guns and sports cars.
PS: A new MENTAL page is up
9/24/07
I've been spending time at www.menarebetterthanwomen.com again. Which has me thinking about my theory on female to male transsexuals. I think they are full of shit. Tomboys and Butch lesbians I can believe identify with men more than women, but FTM trannies I can't. The main reason is because I think of cosmetic surgery as a femme trait. Which leads me to the suspicion that FTM trannies don't identify with men, they just hate being women.
9/23/07
This is the last Puppet In Chief. I feel my energy would be better spent on some other project, that will be worth more than a chuckle. It's my hope that my next political comic will change the way we talk about the social issues of our time. Time to set the bar higher.
9/20/07
Only Two more pages from the first issue of the zine are left. I need to wrap up all these oddball projects if I want to stay at least a month ahead. MENTAL marches on...
9/18
For those of you who haven't read the 'zine it isn't obvious why MENTAL is called MENTAL, but we're getting there...
9/17/07
It might have been funnier if I drew him getting shot in the face
9/15/07
I have been tinkering on some theories for an evolution book in the style
of Understanding comics and in my research I read some books on the philosophy
of evolution. One of these books talked about ways in which life could develop
in open space. So we don't even need to be married to the idea of life starting
on another planet. Also many bacteria have survived entry into the atmosphere
so it's possible that life that started in space could have found a planet
that would allow it to develop into more complex organisms (let it be known
that I just came up with that notion, I didn't read that last bit in a book).
So from this moment forward the theory that a simple organism borne in space
(or even complex amino acids) can fall onto a suitable planet that allows
it's descendants into increasingly complex organisms- is the Ladendorfian
theory of evolution. This is different than the similar theory that life started
on another planet (mars probably) got carried over here by a piece of ricocheting
astroid. But life starting in space and developing on a planet is mine. Until
someone points out someone who thought of it before me.
9/14/07
It's the girlfriend's birthday. I got her a hundred dollars in legos plus another twenty in gag gifts. She seriously wanted the legos. It's the Harry Potter set and she is one of those...I have to go she wants birthday sex.
9/13/07
Yes, another page of MENTAL #1
9/12/07
I have questions for the general that the congress didn't ask. Mr. Petraeus, what have you done to win a heart and/or mind lately? In 2005 you told Barbara Boxer it was important to be seen as liberators not occupiers; how did adding soldiers make it look less like we were occupying?
Why hasn't electricity and drinkable water been made a top priority? Don't you realize that the reason the American people haven't done anything about your commander is because we're so fucking comfortable? Don't you realize that the reason Iraqis are working so hard to do something about you is that they are so fucking uncomfortable? Don't listen to that weasel Crocker when he says Iraqi's are resilient (implying that having an hour of electricity a day isn't an issue), listen to me- Stop the Shock and Awe strategy and start winning hearts and minds.
9/11/07
Too busy to chat but here's the new mental
9/9/07
I will be ending this sooner than planned. When I started doing it weekly it was with the idea that I might melt down from doing it. It's not just that it's the same shit over and over. It's not just that it's too easy to make fun of Bush. And it's not just that I point out all these fucked up things and everyone reading just laughs and forgets about it. But the later is the biggest thing. I'll be starting a new regular political comic in the near future. But for now you can still have your Puppet In Chief
9/8/07
Dirty limericks
I've re-discovered my love of dirty limericks thanks to a short story by Max Glaessner in the new ghost factory literary magazine (Max will be hosting ' the sexy bald men readings' at Kate the Great's bookstore near bryn mawr and broadway on the 15th). Which has me reciting to everyone I can some of my favorites like:
There was once a man named Gene
Who invented a fucking machine
concave or convex
would fuck either sex
but oh what a bitch to clean!
or
There was once a man named dave
who kept a dead whore in a cave
when asked of the smell
he said "Ah what the hell"
just think of the money I save
and of course our old favorite about guys from Nantucket. But it also has me trying to come up with ones of my own. So far I have one, and like all of my poems is about Iraq:
Phil was a high school jock
who thought that bagdad would rock
when still in his teens
he joined the marines
and insurgents blew off his cock!
Think they'll use it in recruiting videos?
9/7/07
Million dollar idea!
I heard this punk rock girl at a reading refer to veganism as a movement.
This got me thinking. There are a lot of vegan foods that taste really good.
Like when I go to the chicago diner and order vegan corned beef- IT TASTE
EXACTLY LIKE ROAST BEEF±!
It's amazing. But here's the thing. When is someone going to make a decent
vegan jerky? Jerky just dehydrated stuff with a bunch of liquid smoke. Someone
needs to step up...help out the movement
9/6/07
Shit I forgot that my new computer doesn't have the Andy font I had on my old one. So I used blambot's Crimefighter. Anyway Rehash zine page #5 of MENTAL. If you still want to buy the comic there's a store list around here somewhere...
9/5/07
I'm not holier than thou. But I may be holier than you specifically. There's all stuff we are and aren't willing to do. So while I may do a good amount to lower my carbon imprint and political stuff, but I don't give blood and haven't filled out my organ donor card. Why? Not willing to do it. It's icky.But here's the thing that makes me holier than thou: I accept that I am being a selfish asshole. That acceptance causes me to try to make up for it in other ways and will probably lead me to giving in and filling out the organ donor card. I mean it's just a matter of pulling out my drivers license and filling the fucking thing out...
9/4/07
A new MENTAL strip! And the last one for this month, the rest of the Tuesdays and Thursdays will be pages from the Graphic Novel- Sundays I work on whatever the hell I want.
9/3/07
Every month when I wait to the last minute to send in my MENTAL comic strip for Wassup! Local. But with my three day weekend, I decided to change that. Want to know how well it went? Well I finished Fred Thompson...
9/2/07
Pretty much finished on the Primary Trading Cards. Fred Thompson isn't in there, but fuck him for trying to pull a tax scam by perpetually staying in the "testing the water" stage. When he is in a debate or I get around to it I will write a card.
9/1/07
MENTAL will be going at
least twice a week this week (Tuesday and Thursday).
The blog has been pretty much daily this week (except yesterday where I fell
asleep before doing it). and Sunday will be what ever I want day. MENTAL will
be some rehashing for those with the 'zine but I will be still updating the
comicstrip once a month just
like today.
8/30/07
Anyone doubting that Senator Craig is gay needs to watch these two videos
8/29/07
Of the 20% of Americans who can't identify America on a map; how many of them couldn't identify the map? Think about it. America is one of the easiest countries to pick out on a map, some of that 20% probably didn't know what the all those blue and green shapes was supposed to represent. Did they think it was abstract art?
8/28/07
Video game addiction has reached an estimated 6% of the males in china under
18. My advice to Chinese parents- Let the boys play! This is not like my advice
to American parents. No Chinese parents, this is all your fault. We Americans
have all the young Chinese girls that these guys would be making their awkward
advances on, and you have denied them. So now just like many American youths
with virtually no chance of getting laid, they have escaped into virtual worlds.
Which gives me another idea: Instead of abstinence only education in schools,
the Christian right should be pushing video games and comic books. It would
triple the virginity rate!
Man! I was a fucking asshole to deny all of you my daily wit this last year!
But I'm back now baby!
8/27/07
Bye bye Alberto, you won't be missed. That may be because I hate but it's also because I don't think you will be gone too long. You said your worst day wasn't as bad as your father's best. I'd like to think that included your birth, but I know you just meant that he worked construction, and you could never appreciate an honest days work. You've been pushed by ambition, and though you praise public service in news bytes, you privately describe it as a stepping stone. And to clearify on that, public service is only honorable when you are serving the public. Multinational corporations are not the public. You sell out, you race traitor. And no I do not call you that because I am stupid enough to believe that your buddies administration is trying to stop your people from coming here. I call you a race traitor because you have worked as an accomplice to those who HAVE taken away the votes from Americans with spanish names. Because spanish names often mean poor, and the poor often vote democrat. Fuck you Alberto. See you when you get your new office, where ever that might be.
No I'm not bitter.
8/26/07
I've been juggling too many projects, which I am correcting now, but that has caused disruption in the schedule. Here are some of the much over due primary trading cards. It was really hard to pick which order to put my least favorite candidates, and how to write about certain ones. Mitt Romney is really hard to write about because many people take what I have to say about him is anti-Mormon. I respect Mormans because they seem on average to be less hypocritical of their beliefs. But Mitt Romney bothers me because of the convience of his policy shifts (though I find his explanations to be reasonable), I just don't think they are entirely genuine. There are other candidates like Tancredo who I like because they are so genuine, but I can't be sure he is sane. Anyway see what I've added, let me know what you think I will get back to you (unless I get a massive surge of popularity/infamy)
8/21/07
Immigration picked up Elvira as she stepped off a plane in LA and deported her to Tiajana. I don't really care. Some the Red Eye called her an activist. She wasn't. An activist is someone who is active to stop something that is for the greater good, not just to save ones own skin. She was inactive hiding in a church because she didn't want to get deported. She was about to actively go to DC to state her case, which took some bravery, even though her only alternative was just to hide forever. But like I said I don't really care. There is only one part of her activities that interest me; How the hell did she get on the plane? I have to show current identification to get on a plane, why didn't she? my contacts at indiemedia are confused too
oh I updated Spider-man and Chicago 6 Corners is having a launch party
Chicago 6 Corners presents...
real-time party for virtual webzine
when: 8 p.m. - Midnight, AUG 25, 2007
location:
ACME Art Works
1741 N. Western
Chicago's NEWEST webzine is launching
WE'LL HAVE: dancing / poetry / art / drinks / food
bands: Gold, Blueblood & Amackerel Sky
djs: sCéNa & Mass Transit
FREE & COOL stuff
DONATIONS welcome
8/5/07
So I spent a week without the news, while I was in San Diego, and I was jazzed to just absorb and spit out a new Puppet In Chief. And I got all obcessed with Bush's shoulder pads he had in the suit he was wearing when he met with the new Prime Minister of the UK. The joke was going to end with an actual picture so you could see how rediculous they were, but after scouring the internet I couldn't find a photograph. Then I found out that Puppet In Chief wasn't updated while I was out of town so here it is. Okay I'll go back to killing myself trying to finish an ultimate spider-man sample for my portfolio (currently 1 page is up, but I'll be adding through out the week).
7/24/07
I am leaving for the San Diego Comic Convention, which is part of the reason you haven't heard much from me recently. Puppet In Chief Will continue to be updated while I am out of town. And I have also created a cover image for The Phantom
7/18/07
see sets perfect follow up to last weeks
7/11/07
New Puppet In Chief. Not only is it funny but it will set up the joke for next week's too.
7/8/07
I got so wound up trying to figure out what anti-gay canidates I hate the least I almost forgot to meantion the new MENTAL strip has been added to correspond with the new Wassup! I also added the last of the dems... Oh another thing Ron Paul (no. 2 on my list) has passed John McCain in funding. Suck it Plutocrats!
7/4/07
I did a comic about the guy bush swore he would fire if he found out who he is.
7/1/07
All the Democrat trading cards are in but one have been ranked, the only one left is the one I can't figure out how far from the bottom she deserves to be. Also this week, my review of the new Michael Moore movie: SiCKO.
6/27/07
"Cheney the bullet dodger? Why do they call him that?"
"Because
he dodges bullets!"
6/24/07
I'm about to go watch the pride parade with my girlfriend (to protect me from the 'mos), so it's appropriate that I update with a popculture reference to the one dude I could see my uncle gaying off with.
6/21/07
This week was hard because there were a bunch of things to comment on.
6/17/07
Don't you ever wish that the people of the united states cared about politics as much as sport. Well this is my attempt to bring us one step closer.
6/14/07
This is one of those strips that's more about keeping a record of Bush's humilation than me making
some kind a point.
6/10/07
MENTAL is now a comic strip/webcomic which will showcase the PREVIOUS month's comic(which this time happens to be the first strip). So how do you read the current month's strip? Pick up a paper carrying it. Which now means one place...
6/6/07
How many of you noticed I threw a democrat in there too?
6/3/07
Now that I have a monthly deadline again I am trying to get a head for the next couple of months so I don't turn in any comic strips late while I am busy during convention season. Here are some more character sketches for a book I'll be pitching when I wrap up some of my other projects (one of them should look familar)...
5/31/07
Probably the kindest I'll ever be to bush.
5/27/07
This comic was meant to be a response to Bush's recent speach at the Coast Guard graduation. But it got all mucked up because my normal sources (NPR/Democracy Now/Aol) are not exactly overlapping. If it's a little incoherent that is because that is how Bush seems to anyone who tries to follow his logic.
5/22/07
My work schedule has just gotten a wrench thrown into it, making it impossible (okay terribly inconvient) for me to put up Puppet In Chief tomorrow so I thought I'd pull a fast one and put what I was going to post this weekend today and harrass Bush over the weekend
Snag: The juror with the droopy draws has an unusual insight into the case... Precurser to MENTAL. © 2003
5/21/07
Season one of Weight of Eternity is complete. I'll be putting it on Hiatus so I can finish the next six chapters of MENTAL and work on the graphic novel version of Weight of Eternity (think of the webcomic as the first draft). When I bring it back it will have a more of a tales from the crypt feel.
5/16/07
The subject matter of the new Puppet in Chief is pretty fucking scary when juxtapozed with the fact that they have now banned journalist in Iraq from filming bomb damage not to mention the fact that our millitary is now putting up propaganda on youtube.
5/14/07
Those of you that live in chicago can go check out the new MENTAL comic strip, the rest will have to settle with Puppet in Chief
5/9/07
new Puppet In Chief deals with New Jersey terror plot. The Oklahoma City Bombing was retaliation for Wako, this would have been retaliation for Iraq...
5/6/07
I'm working on wrapping up Weight of Eternity before it's hiatus, but I've been spending my time doing political stuff (like this thing last week to help kids in uganda) and launching a new independent media site (which is also the new home of Puppet In Chief)
5/5/07
I just couldn't get this joke to work until I heard the deputy press secretary use the term surrender instead of withdrawl, then I found this quote from Bush
4/26/07
It's happening already! Yesterday on NPR started the rumblings of Obama becoming Hillary's running mate in '08.
Didn't Democrats learn in '04 what happens when you get behind some putz no one likes because their running mate is too charismatic and inspiring to win? Dems please start dreaming about Obama/Edwards or Obama/Clark (General Wes Clark that is)
Dream big don't settle. Speaking of generals...
4/22-23/07
Weight of Eternity twenty-one is now 30% longer
4/20/07
Virginia Tech shooter owned ZERO game consules, which is in stark contrast to the theories of one douche bag named Dr. Phil. Maybe Dr. Phil assumed he played video games because he was asian. Can we get the asian Al Sharpton (or actually Al Sharpton speaks for all races) to send Dr. Phil the path of the Imus...
4/18/07
The least funny puppet in chief...
4/15/07
remember when i missed a posting last summer and claimed to be working feverishly? here it is...
Oni challeged pencilers to illustrate sample scripts posted on their website. The writer seemed more enthused by my effort than the editor...
4/11/07
Bush and congress are playing chicken with war spending. Bush wants unconditional spending, congress wants
to cut off spending without doing it outright (or I guess that's what they are doing. What congressional Republicans should be doing to save face would be to push to give the money to the iraqi and afgani governments to spend how they like (One of the republican canidates, maybe Huckabee, suggested we have them vote on whether or not they want us there). It would be a huge show of faith in those 'young democracies', take the burden off of us, and most importantly give them the moral ground to make dems vote for it because they would not be writing a blank check to Bush.
unfortunately this plan would probably backfire big time after the american troops are pulled out and replaced with blackwater mercenaries. No, this weeks Puppet in Chief has nothing to do with Iraq...other than it looks like it will get hotter there.
4/8/07
This Weight of Eternity may or may not be complete by the time you check this. The speakers have finally gone out on my computer and the sound of the processor fan has driven me insane, so I am going to sleep and finish this thing when I get some more time.
4/4/07
perhaps there are more important things to make fun of but I couldn't help myself.
4/3/07
Mwyn at digitalwebbing pointed out this game that looks suspiciously like McDonalds The Video game.
4/1/07
I know Weight of Eternity is due, but some dumb shit decided to start a war four years ago...
3/28/07
So why don't I just say how I really feel about Cheney...
3/25/07
Like last week's update I made this comic a while ago but held it from you while submitting it to magazines. Unlike last week I am not positive I posted this one before...
3/21/07
New Puppet in Chief goes after bush for protecting Rove
3/18/07
This is a concession. A sign that all is not well. I am damn proud of Loyal To The End, a story I wrote in early 2006 and sent out to a couple of places. I thought "This is going to be the one that sells, this is the best short story I've ever written". It wasn't, and there still hasn't been one, though that is in part that I have been so focused on comics (and a failed novel or two) that I haven't been writing a lot of short stories. There could be one other thing. When I wrote the Stockyards that was my vampire story. Every writer has to write vampires. So Loyal To The End is my locked door mystery. So if there is a genre I am forgetting send me a message and that will probably get my mind going....
3/15/06
I've been letting the bastards get away with being bastards for too long Puppet In Chief goes weekly for as long as I can stomach it.
3/11/07
2007 is going to make me broke with all the movies coming out this year. So far I have seen
Black Snake Moan: Sam Jackson's snake movie that doesn't have any snakes in it. Quirky and offbeat but thrown off by the oddity of having Justin Timberlake in it (espeacially when his character's relationship with Christina Ricci's eerily parralels his relationship with Britney)
300: Slow but beautifully violent recreation of the Frank Miller graphic novel by the same name. Added material has the stink of propaganda (the Spartans are free men who are fighting persians for freedom)
An Unreasonable Man: Documentary about Ralph Nader and how his legacy has been tainted, for some, by his precidential canidacy. You have no idea how much Nader has done for this country. We only have safety belts because of Nader. When you survive a car accident, it could be because of Nader. Those mining accidents from last year (or was it the year before now) would have been prevented if the companies would have stuck to the safety codes Nader helped put through. He is an insanely busy dude.
Oh shit I nearly forgot I've been reading too.
3/3/07
It's finally here! Comixpedia had a collaborative event called the "Blind Date" where an artist and writer were randomly paired to create a love/Valentine's comic (By the way, did you know that St. Valentine is no longer a saint? I hope it didn't have anything to do with that shooting because I think he was innocent...) Anyway here's the comic I drew based on the accompanying poem by the creator of Fetus X
3/2/07
So weeks after I said we'd hear the Hallie Berry arguement, Debra Dickerson was on the Colbert Report. I find it funny that blackness is now about the black experience- which is the experience of being judged just on skin color. That doesn't make sense to me either...
Replay video | Share video | Watch more videos |
2/25/26/07
I haven't decided if this is done or not. I know what happens next but haven't decided if it's a story beat or not. I would just make my life easier and say it is but then that would put back the hiatus another month.
2/18-19/07
I've been doing a lot of staring at the screen wondering where to begin with the print publication comic I am working on now. Which doesn't mean I've been a complete slouch (78% maybe), I've been doing a lot of maintenence things on the website; including this illustration page (with 3 new Illustrator pieces). Though now that I am looking at it I think I will eventually just put all the illustrations up on my (neglected) deviant art page.2/14/07
My girlfriend has been trying to metro me up. Trying to get me to use a lufa
instead of bars of soap, wear new shirts with the minimum amount of holes,
and get all the rough nasty shit off my feet. She got the latter for valentines
day, or she would of if the polish chick giving me my pedicure didn't give
up. That's right my feet are so manly even a pedicure couldn't make them girly!
I couldn't be prouder.
I severely regret not bringing my camera because it would have made the best
photo comic ever, espeacially when she was filing the shit off the bottoms
of my feet and was just covered with my foot debris! BWAHAHAHAHAAHA
PS: My friend Julia is desperate for Nerdy guys who want to get laid (I'm sure she'll take more chicks too).
2/10/07
So I am taking pity on those of you who didn't come see me read on Wedsday. Now you won't get my sexy voice, my reading from "The Things They Carried"(with Viet Nam trivia)- but here is my original story "Repulsive"
2/4/07
Hopefully by the time anyone reads this the YouTube version will be working (no sound) but just in case I am also putting it right here
1/28 (technically 29)/07
Fess up! None of you read Weight of Eternity 18! I know this, not because I have Google Analytics telling me your not (because a few of you did), but because: No one noticed the 18 and 17 were identical comics! The problem is fixed now- so read 18 and also enjoy 19. You should love it, lots of overdue exposition.
1/27/07
I have google analytics coding put into several sections of my website. So far I have people in at least 10 states and 8 countries reading the material I am putting out on the internet web. While it's surprising that I am getting almost as many countries as states, it isn't a surprise that most of my traffic is coming from chicago.
1/26/07
I'm getting the shakes having just getting off the Warcraft. Didn't even
know I was hooked? That's because all my post on the subject were never written
because I was too busy playing. Last night I was up 'till 330 realizing that
the comics weren't going to paint themselves. So when I finally got my ass
up after three hours of sleep I risked running late for work to delete the
bastard off of my hardrive.
All in all this wasn't that bad of a monkey on my back. Not like that two
week period in high school when I was hooked on minithins and past life regression
hypnossis (which lead to my lucid dreaming jaunt that inspired The
Hypersomniac).
